conversluvme

loser

Sun, 01 Apr 2007 22:38:58 GMT

had a boyfriend for a week, then realized he was using me for my appartment...how do i find these guys? honestly? am i wearing some kind of a sign that says "take advantage of me please!"...ugh...

recap

Wed, 21 Mar 2007 00:57:19 GMT

recap of my last couple weeks. moved out. exhausted. cant move anymore. im forever staying in the condo. fuck moving too hard. too much shit. but im out and quite happy. im finally getting back into my classes, i ditched a lot lately due to moving. but have spring break next week so hurrah. that's it. thank you. and good night my fellow kids.

whatev

Tue, 06 Mar 2007 09:35:13 GMT

last couple nights i was on a drinking benge, and last night i took some pain killers with like 6 shots. lets just say i was gone. my friends are a bit worried so i told them all i wouldnt drink for 2 days. and well day 1 is over and i was totally craving it. but i didnt.

went to the doctor this morning. all is fine. he said it was a cist that apparently floated up from my boob to wear it was found. its gone back down though. so hurrah.

a lump...

Wed, 28 Feb 2007 20:00:46 GMT

so i went to my chiro today, and i was getting a sore muscle in my armpit looked at so while he was examining it, he said it wasnt my muscle but more of a lump. where most women get breast cancer. he thinks it's just an infection in my lymph, but isnt sure. so i made a dr. appointment and im going in monday morning to have it examined. ill let you all know how it goes.

my partners

Sun, 25 Feb 2007 01:30:10 GMT

the only reason im still at my work is for the kids i get to hang out with every night and drink with!

death

Wed, 14 Feb 2007 11:21:00 GMT

my brother's best friend died yesterday. he went to pick him up from work and found him dead.its weird thinking jeff is gone. ill miss. his service is saturday. ill be going.

continuation

Wed, 07 Feb 2007 05:06:09 GMT

after talking to aine today ive decided to leave jeremy behind. she can have. aine has convenced me i can do better. and im going to believe her.

long fucking night

Tue, 06 Feb 2007 11:22:31 GMT

i just got home and seriously had the most complicated night.

went to class got out and picked up aine. met michele at round table for pizza. there is a guy there jeremy who i like. well i, along with others, felt he liked me too. now all of a sudden michele likes him and i have a feeling he likes her. i dont know almost feel a bit betrayed considering she was the one who told me to go for it with him now she is going for it with him. kinda contridicts herself dont you think? i think im just going to lay off jeremy let them do whatever im too tired of this "does he like me?", "does he like her more?", "should i still go for it?" kinda bullshit. im tired. i just want a guy who likes me, will date me and have a semi normal relationship. ive had relationships just no where close to being normal.

new hair cut

Sun, 28 Jan 2007 04:22:39 GMT

i got my hair cut today. i got a mohawk.

half the woman i was...

Fri, 26 Jan 2007 06:51:46 GMT

i dropped barb off yesterday morning. i cried there and on the way home from the airport. my life is now really boring. before we did nothing together, now i do nothing alone. lame. i basically slept all day yesterday, had dinner with my mom climbed back into bed and watch three movies in a row while partaking in 6 beers and some vodka.

frost bite...

Tue, 23 Jan 2007 11:11:12 GMT

is it possible in sac? if so i may have a bit on my toes...

Fri, 19 Jan 2007 05:02:50 GMT

last couple of days have been kinda nice. busy but nice.

cameron's been spending the night. been hanging out with hannah who i didnt know well to recently when we figured out how much have in common. kinda scary really.

its time for a party. one where i dont have to buy all the alcohol for the kids and where dont have to be the DD drivers

the cops ruined my party

Sun, 14 Jan 2007 23:48:25 GMT

last night was a blast, friends and i were supposed to go to this big party in the middle of no where. i bought hella alcohol got to the party at like 12:30 and the cops were already there so we turned around went to denny's got drunk there then ate hella food. then barb and cam came home with me and we watched jeepers creepers, even though barb passed out like 20 minutes into so it was just me and cam. but it was fun. we had a blast

change

Sat, 06 Jan 2007 08:38:51 GMT

plan has changed. instead of moving to NC ill be there till next december. so next semester ill be taking online classes only and ill be having my books shipped to me in NC. but i still plan on leaving as soon as court has the baby

the drama of my life

Fri, 05 Jan 2007 08:01:27 GMT

basically im not moving out. bob cant afford to live at his apartments anymore, and he just told barb and i fucking today, so barb would be on the street but she is moving in with me. then in two weeks moving to north carolina to marry her fiance. and ill be going with her till school starts. then at the end of this semester, if everything goes according to plan ill be moving to NC where i will attend Duke U. or a nearby university of some sort. so yea. ill be hopefully applying to duke and some other places within the month. we'll see how it goes. cant wait to tell the 'rents my decision. but it is my decision. and i mean with barb being married to tye the marine core will pay for rent and utilites. and they have hot topic's out there, and since im already with the company i can just go work at another one out there. it'll all be the same but instead of being here, ill be there.

new years eve

Tue, 02 Jan 2007 05:23:20 GMT

man last night was awsome. drunken-ness, walkin in old sac, walkin home from old sac, happy face fireworks. it was all so wonderful. until this morning when i woke up and realized i had to get up and go to work. no fun. i feel like shit. but it was sooo worth it. thanx meg ;-)

meh. boys.

Wed, 27 Dec 2006 20:50:41 GMT

so saturday night bob and i kissed. there was also some uh "touching" going on. so me being the kinda freaked out cuz i wasnt sure what the hell it all meant, called barb as soon as i left the apartment that morning. told her everything. and i was like "but ill talk to him tonight and see what it all means". well what does she do? talk to bob and mentioned it and asked what it all meant. so bob calls me and says he doesnt want anyone knowing our business, and thats it just between us. so i say ok. so then that night i show up to spend the night at the apartment, but he isnt home yet from hanging out with our friend JP.well he never came home, and didnt call me till yesterday. so yesterday he calls my cell while im at work, leaves a message saying he didnt call me cuz his phone was dead (bullshit) and that he wants to talk to me. so i call him when i know he is off work. he doesnt answer. so this morning i text him asking if we're still going to the apartment complex tomorrow to fill out paper work so i can move in. well now he wants to wait till barb gets back even though she isnt going to be on the lease. i dont get him anymore. ever since barb left. he isnt the same. so i called barb today to see if she has talked to him at all. she has. she says he is upset that i showed up at the apartment without him being there. and because he hasnt called me i havent been able to tell him why i showed up. one being that i had family staying here and i dont like being here when they are, two i would have had to pick him up xmas morning anyways so why not just stay the night (less driving), three he said he hates sleeping alone, and four barb gave me the damn apartment key so i could do that! ugh. but whatev. ill let you know how it turns out.

crap-ity crap

Sun, 03 Dec 2006 08:58:31 GMT

today kinda sucked in general.

all day, day meaning the sun was up, my parents were fighting and took it out on me. only reason they're married is my dad doesnt believe in divorce. well thats my theory at least. then all evening i had bob bitching at me. to be nice i invited him and barb to a small work party/dinner thing the girls were throwing. what'd they do? sit and only talk to each other the entire time. why do i even try? im not even sure i like him anymore cuz all he does it bitch at me. about my driving (which i always do cuz he nor barb have a car), my drinking (even though im 21 and allowed to have a drink now and again), and my smoking (which he would never understand cuz he doesnt smoke). its getting old. barb tells me to brush it off, but i can only do that so many times before he really starts hurting me. ugh. yet im still moving in with him and barb in january. why? because i hate my living situtation with my parents, and i would have my room with barb, so i could avoid him. which i will be doing

holiday

Mon, 27 Nov 2006 06:54:58 GMT

the holiday season is upon as we know. wish it wasnt. i hate the whole thing of gift buying. i got a part time job just so i could have the extra money to buy gifts. sad, really.

moving out in jan. movin in with barb and bob. barb and i will be sharing a room. looking forward to it considering i may just murder my parents if i had to stay longer than that. 21 years to my living my parents is murder to anyone. so yea.

21st bday

Mon, 02 Oct 2006 06:15:25 GMT

went to the pine cove. drank a lot. of pbr. good bday.

exhausting night

Sat, 23 Sep 2006 01:28:17 GMT

so last night was so long. so i went over to barbs at like 5:30. left her house with her and tyler in one car, me in mine, at 7. when to Leah's work at the mall. i stayed there till 9 when she closed her store. then we once again met up with tyler and barb. then we went to leah's house for her to change her clothes. then to a star bucks to meet up with kelly who has been outta the group for awhile. then to another starbucks cuz that one closed. then to taco bell. then to old sac. where we left after 10 minutes realizing it was 11:30 at night and everything was closed. then we went back to barbs. where leah and i totally a shit load of weed. then leah and i left from there and proceeded to get bubble tape, shove it all in our mouths and then throw it at a parked car. then we went and got cameron so he could smoke with us. then we went to the river to smoke. after about an hour i took him home, then took leah home, then i went home. i got home at 3:30am...damn i was tired today.

crappy birthdays

Sun, 17 Sep 2006 21:20:06 GMT

i said it last year and ill say it again birthdays are bullshit.

so because im turning 21 this year i wanted a party, my mom even agreed to it. and since one of my best friends is under age i thought it be cool to rent somewhere. well let me start at the beginning. she has a boyfriend in the marines. he was scheduled to come home next friday so he'd be here and then he could come to my party with us. well as a surprise he came home this friday. so we were all excited till i sat down and realized shit he'll be leaving the weekend of my bash. so i as him when he leaves and its that saturday evening (the evening we were supposed to be going to lake tahoe). so im like well then he cant go, and i know her and she'll want to spend all day with him so im thinking well she is the one main person i wanted to go and now she wont be. so i canceled. because of her. and i told her that to. and she didnt say shit. she was just like "oh well we'll do something for your birthday as long as it isnt a bar lol". so yea since i was so down and out allll day yesterday what i do? i got high. made me feel better. i actually went over to her house knowing her roomate smokes all the time. didnt talk to her or her boyfriend went and found her roomate and smoked. i miss smoking. i shall partake in it more often.

smokey

Fri, 15 Sep 2006 22:46:35 GMT

interesting day today. when i only have these one class a day days i feel as though i didnt even go. i slept it. found a parking spot. and didnt register anything in my brain. ah well. the week is over and that's what truely counts isnt it.