had a boyfriend for a week, then realized he was using me for my appartment...how do i find these guys? honestly? am i wearing some kind of a sign that says "take advantage of me please!"...ugh...

Current Mood: cynical

recap of my last couple weeks. moved out. exhausted. cant move anymore. im forever staying in the condo. fuck moving too hard. too much shit. but im out and quite happy. im finally getting back into my classes, i ditched a lot lately due to moving. but have spring break next week so hurrah. that's it. thank you. and good night my fellow kids.

Current Mood: exhausted

last couple nights i was on a drinking benge, and last night i took some pain killers with like 6 shots. lets just say i was gone. my friends are a bit worried so i told them all i wouldnt drink for 2 days. and well day 1 is over and i was totally craving it. but i didnt.

went to the doctor this morning. all is fine. he said it was a cist that apparently floated up from my boob to wear it was found. its gone back down though. so hurrah.

so i went to my chiro today, and i was getting a sore muscle in my armpit looked at so while he was examining it, he said it wasnt my muscle but more of a lump. where most women get breast cancer. he thinks it's just an infection in my lymph, but isnt sure. so i made a dr. appointment and im going in monday morning to have it examined. ill let you all know how it goes.

the only reason im still at my work is for the kids i get to hang out with every night and drink with!

my brother's best friend died yesterday. he went to pick him up from work and found him dead.its weird thinking jeff is gone. ill miss. his service is saturday. ill be going.

after talking to aine today ive decided to leave jeremy behind. she can have. aine has convenced me i can do better. and im going to believe her.

i just got home and seriously had the most complicated night.

went to class got out and picked up aine. met michele at round table for pizza. there is a guy there jeremy who i like. well i, along with others, felt he liked me too. now all of a sudden michele likes him and i have a feeling he likes her. i dont know almost feel a bit betrayed considering she was the one who told me to go for it with him now she is going for it with him. kinda contridicts herself dont you think? i think im just going to lay off jeremy let them do whatever im too tired of this "does he like me?", "does he like her more?", "should i still go for it?" kinda bullshit. im tired. i just want a guy who likes me, will date me and have a semi normal relationship. ive had relationships just no where close to being normal.

i got my hair cut today. i got a mohawk.

i dropped barb off yesterday morning. i cried there and on the way home from the airport. my life is now really boring. before we did nothing together, now i do nothing alone. lame. i basically slept all day yesterday, had dinner with my mom climbed back into bed and watch three movies in a row while partaking in 6 beers and some vodka.